What’s All This Then!

According to this excellent TED talk video (ted.com), all a leader of any new movement really needs is that first enthusiastic follower. The rest builds itself … as long as your followers don’t figure out that you’re just as ignorant as they are (the secret to a successful life as a politician or religious leader).

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One of the big technological trends to watch is energy harvesting. It sounds like the result of planting batteries in the ground then pulling off little plastic packages of AAA, C, and D cells from battery plants but no. All around us is some type of movement. Around the world, scientists and engineers are coming up with ways to turn that motion into energy. Remember the school experiment where you powered a small light bulb with a potato? Well, eventually the minuscule rhythmic breathing of a couch potato could power an episode of American Idol if he’s too lazy to change the channel. Or several ads for Victoria Secrets if he doesn’t overload the circuit.

Right now, the military is experiment with tiny generators strapped to the knees and elbows of its marching troops. So far, our brave boys and girls of the Armed Forces are able to create enough electricity to run radios, GPS devices and even iPods. I guess when they go into battle, yelling “CHARGE!” takes on a entirely new meaning.

Research is good so far. But I’m thinking that these ambitious scientists and engineers haven’t tapped into a resource of potentially unlimited power. That’s right, old people! Now hear me out. One of the fastest growing segments in the world’s population is … that’s right, old people. And the Chinese. A few more decades and we’ll be up to our knees in old Chinese people but I digress.

This year, I crossed the half century mark of age. Of course, this little achievement doesn’t make me old. I mean, I can still suck in my gut without my ankles swelling. Still, I have noticed brief moments of involuntary tremors in my hands and head. Apparently, this is a common occurrence as we age. Unfortunately for some, it turns into Parkinson and other uncontrollable shaking diseases. But not to worry! This just means that the elder will now be kept at home as a beloved asset to the family. With an energy harvesting device attached to my trembling form, I can hear my family saying “Ok, plug grandpa into the outlet and turn on the TV.” Think about it. Instead of huge medical bills, Parkinson patients will be able to power the hospital that is treating them AND charge the hospital for the electrical power! As an aging majority of movers-and-shakers on the planet, we’ll be able to provide electricity for any one, any where … except during earthquakes when we’ll find ourselves inconveniently still. Anyway, great idea, right! In fact, I am going to start my electrical co-op right now with a few of my vibrating friends and make a killing. Oh, sorry, bad choice of words …

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If you want to get a crystal ball prophecy of how well the new federal health plan will work, you only have to look to Massachusetts. In 2006, the all-knowing and wise state legislators forced their citizens; sorry, this is America, I mean to say the gracious legislative overlords strongly suggested that all residents in Massachusetts to pay for health insurance. Or else. Monthly premiums averaged about $400 a month. The ‘or else’ was a tremendously burdensome penalty of $93 a month. (There’s a reason why people affectionately referred to the home state of Bean town as Taxachusetts.)

And so, what did those dastardly denizens of the Bay State do with such a brave stately mandate? In 2009, several paid the $400 premium, endured great medical care while running up monthly bills of $2000, then, when in the best of health, they quit their policy to suffer those monstrous monthly fines of almost but not quite $100. For some reason, Massachusetts is now having financial difficulties.

I can’t wait until the federal version to kick in. Then we can all forced each other to pay for all expensive medical care that a formerly free country can provide!

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While I don’t work for the best company in the world, at least I don’t have to worry about being treated like this unfortunate bricklayer in Bangladeshi. In order to make the bricks redder, his boss had the bricklayer’s head cut off and burned in the kiln.

This raises a lot of questions about the organization he worked for. Why did they pick that particular guy? Was he that whiner that every company seems to have who complains so much he gets out of all the work? “I have given all the blood, sweat and tears that I can to this group. What do I have to do to give more?”

How did they approach the bricklayer? “Say, Bob, how would you like a promotion and be, ummm, head … of a major project? Once you begin, we believe you will be fired about it!”

Anyway, the Bangladeshi police are looking for the boss and a fortune teller. It was the fortune teller who convinced the boss that a human sacrifice would improve the color of the bricks. What are the odds that she was married to the unfortunate bricklayer? Or maybe she was prophetic when she told this sad builder of bricks that “one day your work will kiln you as you make an ash of yourself.”

Thank goodness, I don’t work there!

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Good news if you are a woman over 65 years and drinking coffee or tea! According this article at the Psychology Today site, your 3 cup a day of coffee (6 cups for tea drinkers) seems to fight off the effects of aging in the brain.

Sadly, this important benefit doesn’t work for men. Maybe it’s because guys are already grounded. Or maybe it’s due to the old adage “No brain, no gain.” Or maybe it’s because we’re already like coffee — rich, warm and we’ll keep you ladies up all night … if we remember.

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Until 2006, not everyone played with the little hands on their clock as we did last Sunday. 77 counties in Indiana ignored the Federal legislated rush to “spring ahead” an hour. This gave economics professor, Matthew and his PhD student Laura E. Grant, (University of California at Santa Barbara) a chance to study how Daylight Savings affected energy usage. Their results of analyzing over 7,000,000 electric meters? Those that practiced the ‘savings’ ritual reduced their lighting costs while increasing their heating and cooling expenses. The savings turned out to be a loss to households of $8.6 million in terms of bigger electricity bills (or gain if you’re the electric company).

So, tock to me. Do you still want bureaucrats to put their hands all over your clock or does this post tick you off? In the end, it’s all numbers game — not what saves us the most money but which option get them the most votes.

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As you might know, I have two other blogs. I use them mainly to make money by putting linked phrases into 60+ worded post for $5. On one hand, I can write whatever I like as long as the post isn’t rude or bad for the link. Until recently, it has been a great writing exercise at times.

On the other hand, more and more of my assignments are about dieting, skin care or weight pills. After a couple of years of getting essentially the same topics, it has become increasingly frustrating to create entertaining entries of the same mundane phrases.

Last week, I received a phrase that was almost impossible to write with. “Almost impossible” he said with a sly wink. After thinking I had reached my limits, here’s what I finally wrote. What do you think?

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Last month, I successfully completed 5 decades of orbiting the sun. Happily, the ol’ ball of fire doesn’t look any different from when I stared at it as a 5-year-old. Oh sure, my eyes tend to twitch sooner than they did back then. But that’s the price you pay for blinding entertainment.

Yep, I don’t feel any older than I did 10 or 20 years ago. Well, most of the time. The only difference was in the birthday party I just had. Ever played “Sag, you’re it” with a bunch of 40 and 50 year olds? ::: shudder :::

It wasn’t that bad. The weather was sunny and windy. This helped out a lot when a gusty breeze liberated a few toupees … off of the men too. Yes sir, there’s nothing like a rousing game of “Pin the wig on the bald guy”. We were going to play “Pin the tail on the donkey” but none of the politicians RSVP’ed my invitation.

Did we quit after this? Heck no! After a few (well, several) beers, we played that fun-filled adventure game, “Hide and go pee.” Some of us had a great time with this and others … not so much. Did it make a difference? “Depends”

One of the joys of aging is enjoying the rewards from years of hard work and trying to take care of everyone. This is otherwise known as high blood pressure. The cure is medicine that fixes your heart by generating a loud ringing in your ears. As a result, you tend to miss out on things such as “I love you” and “Watch out! You’re about to step in front of a bus!” But it does make for a great game of “Simon says … what?! What did he say?!”

All good times must end so we concluded my day of festivities by storming the Lazy-Boy store to play “Musical Recliners.” This game is only good for one round because everyone gets a chair. And we didn’t leave until we were good and ready. When the store manager brought the police in, we suddenly found ourselves good and ready.

We were going to play “Kick the Bucket” but thought we’d wait a few more years. Just as with “Red Rover, Red Rover, Doctor says Bend Over”, no activity should be more of a goal than a game. Now “Keep Away … from The Bucket” would be a great game. Everyone wins, mostly.

Hope to see you next year!

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All it takes is a little bit of nature to act up and spoil the day for the rest of us. Still, it has been heart warming to listen to the news and learn that people are still being pulled from the rubble alive. Best yet was those people who were indoors and survived unharmed. When the Hiatian earthquake struck, they were buying envelopes in a Stationary store …

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Today I finally had a few moments to upgrade my WordPress software to 2.9.1 from 2.8. Guess what? Still can’t preview a saved draft post! All I get is “Sorry, no posts matched your criteria.” Haven’t been able to see a draft since version 2.2. Thanks, WP developers!

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Usually everyone at work is excited when Friday arrives — a much welcomed break from the craziness of work, a few days to regain some sanity, and we’re ready for Monday’s helping of management-by-chaos. Last Friday was a little different when an emergency plant-wide meeting quickly curtailed our excitement. We learned that some of us would have pay cuts while others would be working one or two days less per week. Not because the economy was bad or because we couldn’t pay the business loans to the banks. No, that was all covered. What happened was the result of banking greed and bad planning by our leaders. Our financial geniuses at the top had promised the banks that we would sell more stuff in December than we actually will. Missing that sales goal means that the banks could triple the interest rate of the loans (which makes me wonder if a crook is simply a banker without an office). Actually, our sales were right on target for this time of year. In fact, any high school student could look at the past 10 years of sales and see that the numbers are high during spring and summer and low during fall and winter. It’s not rocket surgery or brain science.

So the company missed their fantasy income by almost half a million dollars. Judging by the hastily arranged meetings, our fearless leaders didn’t realize the mistake until last Thursday. Then, panic ensued among the powers-that-be. To make up the $500,000, they quickly decided that we should cut our pay and hours to give them almost $50,000 in savings. OOOOOOOooooooo! That’ll satisfy those mean ol’ bankers.

Of course, the exercise did provide us some valuable lessons about our employer. When management announced who would have their hours cut and by what amount, it was obvious that company leaders have not a clue about who is critical to the operation of their business. When they told us that we would have to work harder, we realized that they don’t know or care about the tremendous effort of unpaid overtime, the multiple jobs that each of us have had to take on and numerous sacrifices we’ve already made to help keep the business going.

If anyone had doubts about leaving, this is no longer the case. I believe I am watching the end-of-days drama of a company as it is run by bean counters and sales instead of by principled business leaders. The countdown begins….

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Not so long ago, the sun travel around a flat earth. Beyond the edges of our world, there be monsters. Stories upon stories testified to those truths and the deniers were ridiculed or killed.

When you look back through history, it’s amazing how seemingly intelligent people will blindly and fanatically accept half-truths and outright falsehoods as gospel. Of course, it helps if you’re in power and you need something scary to keep those ignorant peons in check. When someone doubts your story, that’s usually the last thing they’ll ever do … aside from setting an example for the rest of the unwashed masses. And it never hurts to throw a little money around to have ‘reputable’ people back your erroneous tales with a few fun ‘facts’ of their own.

Today, we don’t have such crafty kings and devious popes to mislead us. We have the likes of Foxy Loxy Gore who has garnered a flock of Chicken Littles. (Funny how none of them question Foxy Gore’s hypocritical life style — gas guzzle vehicles and homes with a carbon footprint larger than a family of Bigfoots.) But if you can scare or belittle or find enough low self-esteemed people who hate human kind, you too can win a Nobel Peace prize. Not only that but your followers will form groups and participate in Blog Action Day where prime ministers and religious leaders take time to regale all of us with the monsters of global warming.

Yes, human-caused global warming must be true because thousand of scientists say that it is so. Just because these studied fellows are paid by governments who need a good reason to tax and control their citizens, this doesn’t discredit the researchers’ work. Besides, any one who disputes their findings is an idiot. Apparently, the thousands of other high ranking scientists (some who have won real Nobel prizes) must be drooling baboons because they’ve discounted human causes and proved other, more vital causes of global warming. Amazingly, this latter group wasn’t paid to prove anything. These deniers-to-the-cause followed that silly practice of only looking for the facts.

And the fact is that the globe is warming up. Just because unseasonable cold weather has occurred repeatedly around the planet most of this decade, that doesn’t mean global warming isn’t happening. The cause is just waiting to catch us off guard. Thus, we must band together to defeat a sneaky evil monstrosity that threatens to cook our planet in its own juice. That’s right! I mean the sun! It is bad enough when the sun blazes down on us in summer, erasing the polar caps, evaporating the snows of winter, and melting the ice cubes in our drinks. Now, thanks to verified reports that our malicious solar companion is heating up, our ice cubes will soon be melting in spring and fall too. This must be stopped! I know I can count the support of my fellows compatriots who make candles, manufacture light bulbs and produce electricity. They will readily agree that we need less sun and more cool darkness. I’m also pretty sure we can count on our Vampire brethren, sorry, our hemoglobin-challenge friends for their efforts to protect us from the sun. There may be a rumble between them and politicians as to who is the best parasite on human kind but that beats having the planet become a charred briquet. Yes?

Now some of you may be a little offended by this post. I apologize. You can do something immediately to reduce the human causes of global warming. Please take the hand of your fellow lemming and run, don’t walk, into the awaiting sea, breath deep the healing waters of our mother ocean, and sleep eternal knowing that your hot air won’t be harming the planet again.

You would think that the point of Blog-Action-Day is to draw attention and hopefully generate action on real problems in the world – human atrocities in Africa, needless poverty caused by greedy and ineffective governments — you know, actual human suffering that can be helped immediately. Instead blogactionday.org wasted a lot of people’s time and energy to focus on a problem that may or may not be a problem. Thanks, guys! Can’t wait for next year. I’ll bring the sun tan lotion … and an extra sweater … just in case.

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It didn’t just warped, it contorted! I can’t believe 6 months passed since my last post. Yet it has. Now, I have my daughter and future son-in-law out of the dregs of Georgia and in my home. My grandson, Cyrus, is going to make an appearance any day now. I have a bigger presence on Facebook now. As for this blog, WordPress went from 2.7.1 to 2.8.4 and I still can NOT do a preview of my post without making it public first. ::: sigh :::

Overall, Life is very good!

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