What’s All This Then!

It is amazing how our lives are ruled by pieces of paper — newspapers, lottery tickets, toilet paper (especially when it’s not available). Ok, forget the toilet paper. It’s really about the writings on those other forms of compressed tree pulp that often make or break our dreams. For me, the time has come to update that boastful piece of paper known as a resume.

When written just so, a resume doesn’t really do anything except to show that you can almost walk on water. To the potential employer, your resume is read as their chance of finding that perfect employee who does everything for a salary of nothing. If you’re lucky, that new boss might help you fulfill your dreams as well. But you have a better chance touching your fantasy with that lottery ticket than with your resume in most cases.

As I researched how to “walk on water” in the job market without resorting to ice, I came across an important tip. Remember in the story “Logan’s Run”, where society would reward anyone who reached the age of 30 with a spectacular death? In the today’s market, it seems you are rewarded with a type of employment death upon reaching the 45 year mark. (Although that death is more prolonged than spectacular.) So I’ve begun to rewrite my past by removing dates. It’s like lying through the sin of omission. Kind of like filling out a dating profile by failing to mention the hump on your back or by implying that you look a little like Brad Pitt. A “little like” meaning that you have eyes, nose and a mouth but they’re not necessarily of correct shape or in their proper place. Of course, your date, or prospective employer in this case, won’t know until that fateful face-to-face meeting.

Right now, all I need to do is get front of my new, wonderful, soon-to-be boss and sell how great I am at making him or her rich. Did I mention that sales isn’t in my skill set? No matter. This is an election season. There is plenty of material on television to show me how to B.S. my way into high paying, do-nothing jobs. “If you don’t hire me, the terrorists have won.”

Maybe it would be easier to get the government to bail me out. After all, the economy is depending upon me and my money!

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Crude oil prices haven’t changed greatly. Yet, when you look at this chart, US average gasoline price has risen tremendously! I highlighted last April’s crude oil prices and prices for March, April and May of this year. When crude was around $66 a barrel, our gas price was about $2.80 a gallon. This year, gas prices hit $2.80 and continued up regardless of the price per barrel. The news reports blame the continued price increase on refineries doing their periodic maintenance. I am glad that this ‘maintenance’ didn’t affect us last year as it is now!

To be fair, US oil companies haven’t built a new refinery since the late 1970s. Government regulations and environmental groups have seen to that. So what can we do? Having a nationwide boycott for gas for a day isn’t going to do squat. However, there is talk about picking one oil company, for example Exxon since they are the largest, and boycotting them completely for a few months or so. The thinking is that they will have to reduce their gas prices, hopefully to a point well below other oil companies, in order to sell their inventory. At the point, a price war could ensue.

It would be great to believe that this plan would work. It does have the potential power of millions of drivers. Perhaps we shouldn’t start with the largest since they can hold out longer. Perhaps an oil company that has a less-than-stellar environmental and worker record, say BP Oil, might be a better choice. They have been hit with rather heft fines lately. You would think that they are watching their finances a little more closer than the other guys. Just thought …

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