So there I was, standing in my local IRS office, eagerly waiting to surrender my latest extortion payment when I noticed a new poster on the wall. It was a eye-catching picture of a beautiful sunlit Earth suspended over the black background of space. In large, white letters across the top of the poster was the title “IRS Environmental Policy”. Under the glowing Earth, in smaller white letters, there was about 200 words arranged in three paragraphs. To the lucky reader of this poster, the IRS described how they strived to be the friendliest, most environmentally conscience agency that ever terrorized a planet. It was touching to read all the politically correct, green-sounding jargon. But I think I could have done a better job with much fewer words and much more honest text: “While we at the IRS work diligently to take your money, we will do our very best to not tax the environment as well.”
Archive for the 'irs' Category
Imagine that your nightcap is actually something to place on your head to help you sleep. As you rest, this cap massages your brain with magnetic pulses which causes your gray matter to immediately go into the deepest, most restful part of sleep that we need to maintain our health.
Right now, this little goodie is being tested in sleep laboratories at this very moment. If it works, it will be a short trip to the market place where this could rival sleeping pills in sales. Of course, I have no doubt that it will come complete with adversary warning labels: such as “not intended to replace actual sleep”, “do not operate heavy machine while using this product”, and “do not use in the shower”. As long as a side effect isn’t diarrhea, we’ll be good to go, well, you know what I mean.
Recent Comments