Pole Dancing for Jesus?????
After I watched this video, I still don’t understand how the “for Jesus” fits in. Still, if your church is considering the replacement of a few pews with shiny poles, don’t forget:
– All dancers should wear a J-string,
– All parishioners should pay the “pass the collection plate” cover charge,
– There should be a two-Amen minimum,
– There should be a two-sip maximum from the communal wine cup,
– While speaking-in-tongues is acceptable, licking is not.
– No, the dancers are not possessed, just spirited. There will be no laying of the hands upon any of them at any time.
– Sermons about riding biblical asses are acceptable. Talks referring to the dancers’ posteriors are not. (For the record, there are no such things as religious owls. Therefore, all mentions of “holy hooters” are to be completely avoided.)
– Remember that you’re in church. Anyone having fun will be smote, smoted, smittened, smoked, what is that word? … made a complete ash of when the time comes. Have a nice day…
Popularity: 1% [?]
After I watched this video, I still don’t understand how the “for Jesus” fits in. Still, if your church is considering the replacement of a few pews with shiny poles, don’t forget:
– All dancers should wear a J-string,
– All parishioners should pay the “pass the collection plate” cover charge,
– There should be a two-Amen minimum,
– There should be a two-sip maximum from the communal wine cup,
– While speaking-in-tongues is acceptable, licking is not.
– No, the dancers are not possessed, just spirited. There will be no laying of the hands upon any of them at any time.
– Sermons about riding biblical asses are acceptable. Talks referring to the dancers’ posteriors are not. (For the record, there are no such things as religious owls. Therefore, all mentions of “holy hooters” are to be completely avoided.)
– Remember that you’re in church. Anyone having fun will be smote, smoted, smittened, smoked, what is that word? … made a complete ash of when the time comes. Have a nice day…
Popularity: 1% [?]
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