I have seen the future … and I’m it
One of the big technological trends to watch is energy harvesting. It sounds like the result of planting batteries in the ground then pulling off little plastic packages of AAA, C, and D cells from battery plants but no. All around us is some type of movement. Around the world, scientists and engineers are coming up with ways to turn that motion into energy. Remember the school experiment where you powered a small light bulb with a potato? Well, eventually the minuscule rhythmic breathing of a couch potato could power an episode of American Idol if he’s too lazy to change the channel. Or several ads for Victoria Secrets if he doesn’t overload the circuit.
Right now, the military is experiment with tiny generators strapped to the knees and elbows of its marching troops. So far, our brave boys and girls of the Armed Forces are able to create enough electricity to run radios, GPS devices and even iPods. I guess when they go into battle, yelling “CHARGE!” takes on a entirely new meaning.
Research is good so far. But I’m thinking that these ambitious scientists and engineers haven’t tapped into a resource of potentially unlimited power. That’s right, old people! Now hear me out. One of the fastest growing segments in the world’s population is … that’s right, old people. And the Chinese. A few more decades and we’ll be up to our knees in old Chinese people but I digress.
This year, I crossed the half century mark of age. Of course, this little achievement doesn’t make me old. I mean, I can still suck in my gut without my ankles swelling. Still, I have noticed brief moments of involuntary tremors in my hands and head. Apparently, this is a common occurrence as we age. Unfortunately for some, it turns into Parkinson and other uncontrollable shaking diseases. But not to worry! This just means that the elder will now be kept at home as a beloved asset to the family. With an energy harvesting device attached to my trembling form, I can hear my family saying “Ok, plug grandpa into the outlet and turn on the TV.” Think about it. Instead of huge medical bills, Parkinson patients will be able to power the hospital that is treating them AND charge the hospital for the electrical power! As an aging majority of movers-and-shakers on the planet, we’ll be able to provide electricity for any one, any where … except during earthquakes when we’ll find ourselves inconveniently still. Anyway, great idea, right! In fact, I am going to start my electrical co-op right now with a few of my vibrating friends and make a killing. Oh, sorry, bad choice of words …
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