Nurse Your Coffee (and end up with a wet shirt and a burnt nipple)
A recent Swedish study discovered that drinking three or more cups of coffee a day will reduce the size of your breasts… in women that is. From my unscientific observations of male co-workers, I believe that I can prove that this doesn’t apply to men. I also believe that nature did not intend coffee as a booby trap for women.
Of course, this study brings up the question of whether insurance companies will now covered the cost of coffee drinking as a method of breast reduction. I guess it will depend upon how much those breasts were perk-olated. I should point out that the researchers were studying the relationship between a specific CYP1A2*1F gene in women, their breast size, their coffee intake and the incidents of breast cancer. If I didn’t point this out, then my post would be nothing more than pure titillation, wouldn’t it.
Still, I can hear some of you women asking, “Never mind reduction! How can I increase my breast size?” To you, I can only suggest the tried-and-true method of going to a bar and consuming large amounts of alcohol … by the guy sitting next to you. Yes, I still remember those days. Ahhh, thanks for the mammaries …
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A recent Swedish study discovered that drinking three or more cups of coffee a day will reduce the size of your breasts… in women that is. From my unscientific observations of male co-workers, I believe that I can prove that this doesn’t apply to men. I also believe that nature did not intend coffee as a booby trap for women.
Of course, this study brings up the question of whether insurance companies will now covered the cost of coffee drinking as a method of breast reduction. I guess it will depend upon how much those breasts were perk-olated. I should point out that the researchers were studying the relationship between a specific CYP1A2*1F gene in women, their breast size, their coffee intake and the incidents of breast cancer. If I didn’t point this out, then my post would be nothing more than pure titillation, wouldn’t it.
Still, I can hear some of you women asking, “Never mind reduction! How can I increase my breast size?” To you, I can only suggest the tried-and-true method of going to a bar and consuming large amounts of alcohol … by the guy sitting next to you. Yes, I still remember those days. Ahhh, thanks for the mammaries …
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Written by sprezzaturon in: breast reduction,breast size,humor | Tags: breast reduction, breast size4 Comments »
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at $5 a cup, using Joe to decrease your breast size might not be the most cost-effective way….
But then, if that will get my health insurance paying for my Starbucks addiction, then what the hey!
Is the study about instant coffee or coffee as a whole that will reduce breast size. If it does, that’s bad for women especially they are going to feed their babies in the future!
Lol, your puns are hilarious!
Oh, so that must be my secret. I drink no coffee at all.. my cousin was blaming it on eating too much chicken. (hormones and all you know!) : p