What’s All This Then!

There’s nothing like a little mustard on a sausage biscuit or even just mustard on a biscuit (and Karl says, “Mmm Hmmm“). But yesterday, I found that I couldn’t get a single speck of mustard from mustard packs that had seemingly coagulated in our company’s breakroom. I found the ketchup packets much easier to use as I squeezed out this purplish red and black goo onto my breakfast sandwich. This may be part of our company’s new wellness program because the sight and smell of my biscuit suddenly made me no longer hungry. After I regretfully tossed my breakfast sandwich into the trashcan, I submitted the following suggestion to the powers that be:

If it’s not too much trouble, can something be done about the aged condiments in our breakroom? The mustard packets have started returning to seed form, the mayonnaise is old enough for admission to the mayo clinic, and the ketchup can’t catch up to your food no matter how hard you squeeze the packages. Even the salt is older than Lot’s wife! I don’t think their shelf life is supposed to be longer than the life of a shelf.

I know there are all kinds of ways to reduce the cost of a labor force, but poisoning them should not be an acceptable method.

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