Lawn Man: Part 2 (The Man, The Myth, The Man-icure)
So today I tackled the lawn. Well, it was more like I tripped and fell spread eagle onto the grass. But the way I held onto that ground, if it had been running, you would’ve said that was a good tackle. To keep my mind from running away (which I explained in Part 1), I downloaded a podcast interview of Wiley Miller who writes and draws the great comic, Non Sequitur. This would have worked out very well — my body busy while my mind kept entertained. As I got set up, I realized why I haven’t used earbud headsets in many many years.
You see, I was born with a birth defect. But don’t feel sorry for me. It’s not one of those defects that get me into special parking spots or get me free money from the government and charity groups. I simply have smaller than normal ears. Often I have beautiful women telling how cute they find my ears to be. I learned long ago that they meant “cute” as in “let’s just be friends and nothing more.” I told you it was a defect. Although I completely don’t understand why they would want to be just friends. You know what they say about guys with little ears, don’t you. No? Neither do I … probably because I can’t hear very well what people whisper.
Anyway, in this day of modern technology and miracle cures, I can’t get those ear bud headsets to stay in my ears. There are those $300 varieties that even fetuses can wear as they listen to “Mozart for Intelligent Pre-Born”. But who has $300 just laying around? Certainly not fetuses. And definitely not me. Sometimes you have to come up with your own technological cures. In my case, I taped the ear pieces to the sides of my head. For a few minutes, I was able to listen to a podcast. In hindsight, I should have used duct tape wrapped completely around my head. Instead, as I began to sweat, the Scotch tape began to loosen from my ears. The headset began to shift gradually and then more dramatically. It got to the point where I would take a few steps and suddenly jerk to try catch the headset. To my neighbors, I must have looked like I was either having a seizure or dancing to a hip-hop song. In the end, I finished the lawn as a podcast concluded. It was very good. I think it was about people talking about something. It must have been very funny because I think I heard them laugh from time to time.
Popularity: 8% [?]
So today I tackled the lawn. Well, it was more like I tripped and fell spread eagle onto the grass. But the way I held onto that ground, if it had been running, you would’ve said that was a good tackle. To keep my mind from running away (which I explained in Part 1), I downloaded a podcast interview of Wiley Miller who writes and draws the great comic, Non Sequitur. This would have worked out very well — my body busy while my mind kept entertained. As I got set up, I realized why I haven’t used earbud headsets in many many years.
You see, I was born with a birth defect. But don’t feel sorry for me. It’s not one of those defects that get me into special parking spots or get me free money from the government and charity groups. I simply have smaller than normal ears. Often I have beautiful women telling how cute they find my ears to be. I learned long ago that they meant “cute” as in “let’s just be friends and nothing more.” I told you it was a defect. Although I completely don’t understand why they would want to be just friends. You know what they say about guys with little ears, don’t you. No? Neither do I … probably because I can’t hear very well what people whisper.
Anyway, in this day of modern technology and miracle cures, I can’t get those ear bud headsets to stay in my ears. There are those $300 varieties that even fetuses can wear as they listen to “Mozart for Intelligent Pre-Born”. But who has $300 just laying around? Certainly not fetuses. And definitely not me. Sometimes you have to come up with your own technological cures. In my case, I taped the ear pieces to the sides of my head. For a few minutes, I was able to listen to a podcast. In hindsight, I should have used duct tape wrapped completely around my head. Instead, as I began to sweat, the Scotch tape began to loosen from my ears. The headset began to shift gradually and then more dramatically. It got to the point where I would take a few steps and suddenly jerk to try catch the headset. To my neighbors, I must have looked like I was either having a seizure or dancing to a hip-hop song. In the end, I finished the lawn as a podcast concluded. It was very good. I think it was about people talking about something. It must have been very funny because I think I heard them laugh from time to time.
Popularity: 8% [?]
Written by sprezzaturon in: |3 Comments »
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LOL! Sorry to laugh, but seeing you do this hip-hop dance while mowing the lawn would have been very entertaining! As for your ears, it could be worse! Compared to Steven Cobert, you have a perfect set of ears. Besides that, as you age your ears will grow larger. For millions of others, this is a bad thing, as their ears will then look like cauliflower leaves. So, be thankful for your perfectly “cute” irresistibly, sexy ears! I love them every bit as much as I do the rest of you, heart, soul, mind and body!
Thanks for sharing your adventures this weekend; I can’t wait to see the adventure about filling the water-bed! :*
This awesome post. It makes me sometime laugh. Thanks for your post.
It is nice to do the things fun.