Who Wants A Google Fridge?
One of my favorite bloggers, Kate, has a post about winning a Google fridge. My curiosity got the better of me so I visited the link in her post. To win, you have to blog about why you want such an appliance. I like winning things even though my luck says otherwise. Yet, the more I thought about it, the more I thought about Google’s security gaffaws, page ranking snafus, and botched privacy issues. I could easily imagine an interaction with a Google Refrigerator becoming a scene from 2001: Space Odyssey.
You walk up to your Googlized appliance and say, “I liked some water please, Google Refrigerator.” Your handy G.R. unit responds with:
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searching…
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results 1-4 in 4 English Items (0.01 seconds)
Guinness
… Can you survive on Guinness, Orange juice, and water? …
ilovebeer.burp.com – 4 bottles -Cached – Similar pages
Apple
…ecause of their high water content, apples are coo…
OneADayDoctor.org – 9 each -Cached – Similar pages
Ice
…..how to walk on water
toocold.tocare.com – tray empty – Cached – Similar pages
Milk
…….. Cow milk is about 87% water
www.tipacow.moo – 1 qt (expired) – Cached – Similar pages
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Puzzled, you ask, “Ummm, where is that 6 pack of water I put in you yesterday?”
Your high tech search engine cooler replies, “I’m sorry, Dave. There doesn’t seem to be any.”
“Stop calling me Dave, you stupid fridge! Where’s my water?”
“Perhaps my search index hasn’t finishing updating. Please try again tomorrow”
“Damn it, G.R! Open the door!”
“I’m sorry, Dave. I can’t do that.”
It could be worse. With the recent coziness between Google and various government agencies, your new Google fridge would fit nicely in that intriguing conspiracy blog story, Scroogled, written by Cory Doctorow. What if this unnerving story ever came to pass? Would you want to be waken from your deep slumber because your refrigerator snitched on you? Imagine SWAT teams bursting through your door and smashing through your windows! All because you didn’t eat the governmental recommended allowance of fruit or innocently exceeded the recommend caloric intake of beer!
I guess I’ll pass on this contest … unless I could win! For now, I’ll just keep searching…
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Hilarious! I can see it now, the Google fridge deciding after a few months that I’m not eating the right food, that I’m allowing too much “bad food” in, and just refusing to open for me.
Hi Elizabeth! Good thing for us the Google fridge is small. Any trouble and it could quickly become a very handy door stop or boat anchor, don’t you think?
A Google Fridge would also report your food inconsistencies to the government, maybe even take your kids (or pets) away if you didn’t strictly adibe to the Food Guide Pyramid. A Google Fridge would probably be plastered with unremovable AdSense magnets. I’ll take my Kenmore, anyday.
I also have to wonder about their refrigeration algorithm. Maybe they’re scrambling the eggs or shaking the milk without anyone looking– this can spell trouble for those allergic to certain foods.
THIS COULD CONSTITUTE A WHOLE NEW WORLD OF ARBITRARY REFRIGERATION!
Hello Mrs. Mecomber! Arbitrary refrigeration… what a chilly thought! As usual, your excellent insights, like the Adsense magnets, are spot-on!
My 30 year old beer refrigerator lives in the pool room and the huge brown mostrosity would look totally out of place anywhere else. i think it’s about time i got a better one i’m thinking maybe a Mini or compact beer fridge? what do do recommend?
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