What’s All This Then!

Alright! In case you haven’t heard about your governments latest efforts to help you, tonight’s the night! Don’t forget to shift your clocks ahead by one hour. Although it has yet to be proven, this is somehow going to save us lots and lots of energy. So much so that the business lobby pushed hard to have this new daylight shifting implemented. After all, studies have proved that we will spend our extra sunlight in their stores. The candy manufacturers are thrilled to death about this new daylight shifting schedule. They went as far as to put little candy pumpkins on the seats of senators during the hearings for daylight shifting time. Why? Because Halloween will now have an extra hour of daylight. How many more greedy children do you think will take advantage of this?

I refer to this time change as Daylight Shifting Time because that is the actual term. “Daylight Savings Time” is the politicians spin to make their efforts sound noble. As the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And so far, not one politician has been able to justify this time change from hell. Way back in the 1970s, then President Nixon wanted to have this hour shift take place on a year-round basis. So he commissioned dozens of studies to make his case. Unfortunately, the only conclusion reached was that there was no energy savings to speak of.

Oh well. I think that it is great that we get to advance our clocks to keep from turning on our lights for an hour at night. Think of the energy that we will save as a result. I am so excited just thinking about it (’cause I can’t prove it otherwise)! We’ll have so much more energy available as we drive to stores, run our gardening equipment, fire up our gas grills – you know, activities that have been shown to take place with that extra hour of daylight. Thank you, Mr. and Ms. Bureaucrat for looking out for me and my fellow citizens. And a big thank you to those daylight-shifting lobbyist who were so persuasive.

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